Mom guilt. Millions of us have it, and yet there is still no cure for this dreaded disease. People will warn you before you get it, and yet you still proceed and have children (the number one cause of Mom guilt).
The funny thing is...I've never heard of dad guilt. I'm not going to point any fingers. Who am I kidding? I'm pointing directly at men. I can't say I've ever seen John feel guilty about anything. He shovels food in......no guilt. He naps on the couch.......no guilt. He watches me walk past him with repeated loads of laundry......no guilt. Ok I'm not picking on John particularly but dads in general really don't have the "issues" that moms have.
I have guilt for so many things, and I just wonder if other women have the same problem. When I'm working I feel bad for not being at home. When I'm at home I feel bad that I'm not working and making more money. When I fuss at the children I feel bad for not being a "nice mom". When I'm being to nice, I feel like I'm spoiling them, thus...the guilt.
When I get frustrated with them, I feel guilty. I also feel like I need to have a moment of peace or a minute to "get away" = guilt. Then when you do "get away" be it at dinner, a night when they sleep over somewhere, or you just go to Walmart alone = GUILT. Seriously??? I feel bad when I go to the bathroom and lock the door. Because at some point while I am in there, a sad little voice will knock on the door and say, "mom...what'cha doing?" Really??????
How long will this last? Am I going to be 50 years old and feel bad about every move that I make? Am I going to question every decision that I make for the next 60 or so years? ((I'm pretending that I'll have a long lifespan)) But with all of this guilt, I probably won't live that
long :(. Now I feel guilty that we don't have a will.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Well my friends Christmas 2010 has come and gone. Clearly I have been a smidge busy since my last post. Lets try to take a moment and reflect on all that has been keeping me away from my writing.
Fall brought several sporting events into our lives that took up alot of time, energy, and laundry detergent. Richard played flag football for the first time, which was quite enjoyable. To our surprise he did actually run which is more than we can say for his soccer effort. He made several touchdowns which I found great pride in........until I bragged about it to someone and they informed me that "flag football doesn't count". Ouch, that hurt my parental pride!
Next up was soccer. The girls play on one team and Richard plays on another. It would make life to easy if they were all on the same team, wouldn't it? I spent a good deal of time down at the AET Sports Complex...Jackson River Sports Complex....or place across from Hercules. (It really depends on how old you are as to what you call that place). Anyway, the girls do a great job and take it pretty seriously. I get pretty into the soccer as well, I don't understand the rules, but neither do they at this point. Most of the season was spent with me either: A. looking for 6 soccer cleats, B. trying to find stinky shin gaurds, C. shoving some snacks that I found around the house into a bag and trying to convince kids that I was a good "snack mom".
Halloween was a rough patch for me. Now, don't get worried...no one was sick or injured, I had to give up my controlling Type A issues and let the children pick out their Halloween Costume. I always had store bought plastic costumes, (which had a peculiar smell), however I loved them. For some crazy reason though I've made the kids costumes for the past 4 years and really enjoyed doing it. Not only did I make them, but I made them WHAT I WANTED THEM TO BE. And it usually had a theme, like "oompa loompas (the original ones), Wizard of Oz, Scooby Doo people. However this year they were Target Costumes :( yep I walked around with a Darth Vader, Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, and "Super Girl". How embarrasing?? I mean..how precious. I hate when they start making their own decisions, the next thing you know they are going to want to pick out their own clothes....lets pray they get my sense of tase, or they will be wearing Virginia Tech t-shirts daily.
Well for now, I will go listen to John watch The Orange Bowl. He is very vocal with his football viewing.