Mom Guilt

Mom guilt. Millions of us have it, and yet there is still no cure for this dreaded disease. People will warn you before you get it, and yet you still proceed and have children (the number one cause of Mom guilt).

The funny thing is...I've never heard of dad guilt. I'm not going to point any fingers. Who am I kidding? I'm pointing directly at men. I can't say I've ever seen John feel guilty about anything. He shovels food in......no guilt. He naps on the couch.......no guilt. He watches me walk past him with repeated loads of laundry......no guilt. Ok I'm not picking on John particularly but dads in general really don't have the "issues" that moms have.

I have guilt for so many things, and I just wonder if other women have the same problem. When I'm working I feel bad for not being at home. When I'm at home I feel bad that I'm not working and making more money. When I fuss at the children I feel bad for not being a "nice mom". When I'm being to nice, I feel like I'm spoiling them, thus...the guilt.

When I get frustrated with them, I feel guilty. I also feel like I need to have a moment of peace or a minute to "get away" = guilt. Then when you do "get away" be it at dinner, a night when they sleep over somewhere, or you just go to Walmart alone = GUILT. Seriously??? I feel bad when I go to the bathroom and lock the door. Because at some point while I am in there, a sad little voice will knock on the door and say, "mom...what'cha doing?" Really??????

How long will this last? Am I going to be 50 years old and feel bad about every move that I make? Am I going to question every decision that I make for the next 60 or so years? ((I'm pretending that I'll have a long lifespan)) But with all of this guilt, I probably won't live that
long :(. Now I feel guilty that we don't have a will.

FALL Y'ALL

Well my friends Christmas 2010 has come and gone. Clearly I have been a smidge busy since my last post. Lets try to take a moment and reflect on all that has been keeping me away from my writing.

Fall brought several sporting events into our lives that took up alot of time, energy, and laundry detergent. Richard played flag football for the first time, which was quite enjoyable. To our surprise he did actually run which is more than we can say for his soccer effort. He made several touchdowns which I found great pride in........until I bragged about it to someone and they informed me that "flag football doesn't count". Ouch, that hurt my parental pride!

Next up was soccer. The girls play on one team and Richard plays on another. It would make life to easy if they were all on the same team, wouldn't it? I spent a good deal of time down at the AET Sports Complex...Jackson River Sports Complex....or place across from Hercules. (It really depends on how old you are as to what you call that place). Anyway, the girls do a great job and take it pretty seriously. I get pretty into the soccer as well, I don't understand the rules, but neither do they at this point. Most of the season was spent with me either: A. looking for 6 soccer cleats, B. trying to find stinky shin gaurds, C. shoving some snacks that I found around the house into a bag and trying to convince kids that I was a good "snack mom".

Halloween was a rough patch for me. Now, don't get worried...no one was sick or injured, I had to give up my controlling Type A issues and let the children pick out their Halloween Costume. I always had store bought plastic costumes, (which had a peculiar smell), however I loved them. For some crazy reason though I've made the kids costumes for the past 4 years and really enjoyed doing it. Not only did I make them, but I made them WHAT I WANTED THEM TO BE. And it usually had a theme, like "oompa loompas (the original ones), Wizard of Oz, Scooby Doo people. However this year they were Target Costumes :( yep I walked around with a Darth Vader, Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, and "Super Girl". How embarrasing?? I mean..how precious. I hate when they start making their own decisions, the next thing you know they are going to want to pick out their own clothes....lets pray they get my sense of tase, or they will be wearing Virginia Tech t-shirts daily.

Well for now, I will go listen to John watch The Orange Bowl. He is very vocal with his football viewing.

Camping....Do you hear that noise?

I never claimed to be a nature enthusiast, thank goodness. However once a year I join my sister and her family for ONE night of camping at Lake Sherwood. Tracey (my sis) and her family stay for a week and tent camp. It really is beautiful there and I love spending time with my family...however there is a limit to how much nature I can enjoy.

First, I must inform you that I enjoy swimming in things with a filter and chlorine....this lake did not have either one of those. I do not like things touching my legs or gently nibbling at my toes. The worst thing I'm going to run into in my pool is a vicious dragon fly or a thristy bee. So when I gingerly walked into the lake I didn't appreciate it when I was attacked by my loving neices and sister, and thrown out into the water where there were hungry minnows ready to pounce on me.

Second, walking a city block to the bathroom is no fun. Maybe when I was a young person this wouldn't have bothered me..but you carry three children in your body and see what it does to your bladder capacity. When I have to use the bathroom, I have to use the bathroom. I don't have the ability to figure the mathematical distance to the community bathroom and I can't figure out if riding a bike will help me get there faster or make me just want to pee myself.

Third, and this is the most important thing that I have to impart on you! When you wake up during the night and hear a noise....people who are sleeping do not care about you. They will sacrifice you and your children to the bear/squirrel/raccoon that is digging through all of your belongings outside of the tent. I was soundly sleeping....until I started hearing the rustling. To distinctly describe the sound I heard..it was SOMETHING digging through bags. Not a little something either, it had to be pretty big and NO I am not exaggerating. Now, my brother in law was soundly sleeping..so much so that his snoring was impeding my ability to hear the animal. I woke my sister who was alarmed enough to wake her snoring husband. To say that he was not happy is putting it nicely :)....he did investigate the situation and said it was nothing. Now he lays back down and starts back to snoring before his head hit his blow up mattress. Tracey and I laid awake, holding hands like the frightened fools that we are. MORE DIGGING..LOUD DIGGING...and it woke the snoring man up and he acknowledged that YES there was a sound. OK THANKS.

So I drift off back to sleep eventually...all the while thinking that there is only a thin layer of some canvas between me and something that is equally as nosey as I am. Visions of headlines ran through my head..."Mother of triplets mauled during one night camping trip"....."Woman who never camps found running screaming from killer deer".....You get the point.

I now realize why I enjoy my condo at the beach. The worst thing we may run into is a drunken college kid. Tarballs. Jelly fish.

July 4 What a great holiday!

Yesterday was July 4...so today is the 5th. Ok I'm going to be serious, it really was a great day. So many things that I enjoy were all crammed into one day. John is working 3-11 so that was the only thing that brought me down, because he didn't get to enjoy all of the holiday fun with us.

We started out the day by going to Sunday School. Usually there are about 6-8 kids, however there were only three.......my three. So I did my best to teach them the lesson and not threaten them to often. You know the church threat...where you smile kindly and whisper your words of "if you don't stop it I swear I'm gonna"....you fill in the blank.

After church we spent some time with daddy-o before he headed off to work :(...well someone has to fund all of our fun activities..sorry babe!

At 4 Covington had it's first "Red White and Blue Parade and we were there! Proudly waving our Flags (Thanks BIG AL) it was such a cute parade and that is the best way to describe it. Our town is fabulous, we may be small, kind of smelly, high unployment but we do try our best to make it enjoyable. Some complain that there isn't anything to do, but there are things you just have to make an effort to support them so they will continue and grow.
It was wonderful to see the veterans, and Buddy was so excited to see the fire trucks and Army Men with guns. The girls were thrilled by it all, especially seeing there cousin Sydney ride in her first parade as the Little Miss Queen of Hearts. We are so proud of her because she is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. I was also thankful that they were allowed to throw candy, what kid doesn't love risking their life running out into the road for a half broken butterscotch candy??

Next we picked up cousin Rachel and hit the AET park for some bouncing and icy oasis. It was nice to see friends and just hang out sitting in the grass eating an icy, the only thing that would have made it more complete was if I hadn't been sweating like a pig.

Our next stop was the Morris Family Picnic. It was nice because there was lots of family and friends. Loved passing around Brady and watching my kids treat grown men like playground equipment. The food was yummo but then again I firmly believe I would eat anything cooked on a grill. As the night grew dark we moved to the front yard to witness the fireworks. I was really proud of Covington, they were nice and lasted longer than 5 minutes....I've been disappointed in the past. The kids loved it and the adults contemplated why fireworks weren't more widely used to celebrate other holidays. Why aren't there Christmas fireworks in red and green? Why not pastels to celebrate Easter? Lots of red for Valentines? I'm going to see if I can get the copyright on this idea.

Last but not least we met John at home and he put off some of his fireworks, we pretended to be impressed but after seeing the real deal in town a bottle rocket in the driveway just isn't the same.

Like I said it was a day filled with all the things I love, Church, a parade, icy treats, a cookout, and fireworks. Good times.

Other People

OK, I'm just putting this out there.....does it ever seem like everyone else is having more fun than you are? Even when I'm doing exactly what everyone else is doing....I'm still not looking cool and relaxed.

Take today for example number one. Location: CITY POOL....lots of parents sitting around looking chill, just hanging back watching the kids play. They all look like they are having a great time. Meanwhile I'm sweating my patootie off....God forbid I had worn a bathing suit and exposed the children to that horror. All the while I am going "where's Payton? " "do you see Rylee?" "why won't Richard get out of the kiddie pool" "why is the kiddie pool yellow" EWWWWW. Intermittently there are children running over to me shaking their cold water on me while I yank their tiny arms out of the swimmy arms...only to have to shove them back into the swimmy arms only moments later. Then I look over at John beside me, he doesn't look stressed....he looks sweaty...but not stressed. Well he wasn't dealing with the swimmy arms so maybe that's why he wasn't stressed. Now I'm worried about whether I'm spelling "swimmy" correctly. Sheesh nevermind.

Still I look around and everyone else looks happy. Calm. Serene even. How I ask?

Another situation that I can think of regarding Other People.....Eating Out. When we go out to eat it is usually a production. I pity the people who sit near us....I have even warned them to press on and find another location. Not that the children are bad when we eat out but it is a virtual marathon. Don't even get me started on going to a buffet! If you know me you know that this is unacceptable...I'll do it but I won't be happy about it. Why you ask? Because it equals about 800000 trips up and down. Before I even get my own plate I have been up there at least 6 times. Meanwhile John is ready for the dessert bar.

Needless to say in these situations I look around at the elusive OTHER PEOPLE and they look happy. Cute little families enjoying their night out to eat. Or there are the dreaded "newly married" couple who you want to smack. Over there making their cutsie faces at one another, possibly holding hands across the table....another reason to smack them. They look over at your table and secretly think to themselves...."that will never be us" " we will be in control of our little brood".......yea well think again sister.

I really do hope that for some WE are the OTHER PEOPLE. Maybe they are looking when I least expect it. A moment when we are all holding hands as we walk into Walmart. A moment when Payton hugs Rylee just for being her sissy. When Richard holds the door for other people because he LOVES to be called a gentleman. When Rylee picks up trash because she hates when people litter. I guess we do have OTHER PEOPLE moments I just don't realize because I'm to caught up into life. I hope this summer I can concentrate on our good times, I just want to slow life down and remember every single moment.

My...where has the time gone?

Well it seems like only yesterday that the bus driver missed our stop on the very first day of school. He backed up when he saw anxious children and parents with every piece of digital equipment in hand. Next he begins to BELLOW out of the window, " I didn't know I had to stop here"...now when you read that you must insert the loud voice of a 60 + year old man, who rides around Walmart in an electric scooter.

After frightening the 3 little people who were so excited about riding the bus, only two little Reynolds got on....and one little Reynolds cried the whole way to school in the van. Deathly afraid of her new bus driver :(

Needless to say, the ride home was better...mind you we only live about .5 miles away from the school.

The year since then has gone quickly..few weeks of school..then a holiday...few weeks of school...then a sickness...then the other child gets what the first one had...and so on. You see the vicious cycle that I'm describing. I love the notes, "Your child has missed "X" days of school" Oh really?? Thanks for sharing, I had no clue that I was at home cleaning up vomit...running to the doctor...and doing multiple loads of laundry.

Once spring had sprung the Reynolds children began to make it to school on a nearly daily basis, which was a nice change. The little fella plays coach pitch which is a great form of free entertainment. ....wait...I take that back it's no where near free. Being on the team wasn't costly, it was the two girls that I had to feed constantly at the ball park that seemed to break this bank. "Can I have a $1?" was starting to feel like it was being sang in a round. Bags of popcorn, corn dogs, and popcicles...only the most nutrious for this little family. Oh and if they didn't eat enough at the ball game, then you have to feed them dinner. Which drive-thru shall it be? See why I said it was costly.

Now tomorrow they will graduate from Kindergarten. I can proudly say that Buddy only had his wormed moved a few times. ((That's Kindergarten speak for getting in trouble)) Each time he had it moved there was a female involved in bringing him down.....just like his father, hahaha. I am so proud of all that they have accomplished this year...raising their hands, writing their names, counting to 100, standing in line for food, you know the basics that get you through life.

Five Long Years...Five Short Years

Some days have seemed so long. When John was working 16 and I was home by myself functioning on NO sleep with three little ones I never thought the day would end. I kept reminding myself don't wish this time away.

We prayed for a baby for five years. Those five years were painful and sad, each month a struggle to go on. Friends and co-workers became pregnant and I was happy yet it always felt like salt on an already sore wound. Each trip to Walmart where I ran into a pregnant teenager felt as if God was simply mocking my pain. Everynight I would lay in bed and pray to God, just give us one healthy baby.

However in August of 2003 we found out that I was in the nurses words "REALLY PREGNANT". Within two weeks we found out that "REALLY PREGNANT" meant triplets. We were thrilled yet nervous, wondering how would we take care of three babies at once. ((People still ask me to this day how we do it)) Each day of the pregnancy was a rollercoaster. A triplet pregnancy is extremely high risk and each day that I carried those babies was a struggle. I began having contractions in November and was put on bed rest.

Bed rest sounds like a blast til someone actually has to do it. It's no wonder my kids love the Golden Girls because I watched it about 6 times a day while I was in the bed.

While I was pregnant we had two very sad things happen, Johns Grandma Reynolds passed away. She knew I was pregnant and having triplets but we didn't know what they were at that point. Days before my babies were born Johns Grandad Reynolds passed away. His Grandparents both meant the world to us. His Grandad couldn't believe I was going to be able to carry 3 babies and he was happy to know that there was two girls and one boy and his Great Grandson would be Richard McKinley.

On Feb 9 John went with me to the Doctor and we were given bad news. I had pre-eclampsia. This is a condition that affects the bloodpressure and also hurts the babies nutrition, I was then put into the hospital. After 2 days and receiving shots to strengthen their lungs we were told they would need to be born. They would be better off in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) because my body wasn't able to take care of them any longer.
They told us every bad thing that could happen with them being born at 29 weeks.

On Feb 11, Johns Grandfather's funeral was held. That same day his 3 Great Grandchildren were born via c-section. I swear that on his way to Heaven he gave Buddy his ears :). Many family members and friends were there. At 2:17 Payton Noelle was born weighing in at 2 lbs and 9 ounces. At 2:18 Rylee Gray was born weighing in at 2 lbs 5 ounces. At 2:19 Richard McKinley (buddy) was born weighing 1 lb 13 ounces. They were very small. They were put on respirators to help them breath.

Months of going to the NICU daily followed. Not being allowed to hold them. Not being able to see them whenever I wanted. Being 60 miles away at times. Those days passed slowly.

April finally came and the flowers at the hospital were all in bloom. When they were born there was snowy weather, it was hard to believe we had watched a season pass. The girls came home April 15 and we were delighted. Two weeks later little brother came home as well.

Those first few days are a blur. I'm pretty sure I have no memory of how we did it. We were the most tired we have ever been. We fed them every 4 hours for months and months to help them gain weight.

The first 2 years we mostly stayed home. Going out as you can imagine was a difficult task.

Once they were big enough to walk on their own and stay with us we started taking them places. One of the biggest reasons we wanted to have children would be to let them experience as many different places and things that they possibly could. We went on many trips and have done many awesome things.

All of a sudden they are five years old. They are still tiny for their age but are developmentally perfect. I am blessed that they are able to go to school and experience the chance to get an education. I loved school and I want them to as well.

The five years that we suffered waiting to have ONE BABY was a nightmare, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The five years that we have had the opportunity to get to know these three perfect little people have flown by. I hope that I have instilled in them all the things that they need to know to be able to have a great first day. Parenthood is a blessing, it is a gift, and I thank God for each and every day that I have with them. Whether the days past slow or fast I just want them to be the best that they could have.